Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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