how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
