Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
