yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
