I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
