Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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