went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
