just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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