he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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