How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
