and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
