so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
there is puke in my bra ... again
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
