i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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