Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
