The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
