Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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