We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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