so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
