What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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