brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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