Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
