Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i think i have two assholes
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize