Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
