My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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