I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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