Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
