why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
bring money and cleavage
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
