Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
