so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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