I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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