Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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