So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My liver just had a heart attack.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
