just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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