I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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