I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
