Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
