He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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