this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
