I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize