yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
