White coat. Heels.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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