I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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