Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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