Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
