The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
