after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
