and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
