Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
two words: eviction party
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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