My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
