I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
