I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Two words: nipple clamps
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