fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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