I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
