Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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