Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
