He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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