I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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