woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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