just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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