ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize