Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
