My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
