i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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