So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
